Start somewhere

Starting is the hardest part. It feels like getting ready to jump off the town dock into the ocean. You know how it’s going to feel; shockingly cold, refreshing, wet. Yet, it’s tense. Hot skin, summer day, got to do it. Your buddy goes first. It’s your first time this year. The Maine ocean is always frigid. You look down at the tide coming in. The sun glares off the water flashing off everything. You start to run. Your right foot down on hot pressure treated green wood. Pause.

You’ve committed to a full run with that first step. It’s been since last year since you’ve been in. Hell, you don’t even know if you still know how to swim. That’s what writing feels like when I sit down to a blank page. In fact, I struggle with changing interests. One week I’ll be on something, the next I’m completely changed and studying intensely another subject altogether. It’s the best way to never accomplish anything in my life. At least I feel that way. I’m sure it has some creative uses though. Knowing a little bit about a lot of different stuff.

Writing comes and goes for me. My life comes and goes like the tides. How to you pull yourself together and keep writing when it gets monotonous? How do you sit down everyday despite everything and fill a page?

Have you heard of Kintsugi? It is the art of mending cracks and broken pieces of pottery back together with gold or silver. Maybe my writing is my gold that puts all my fragments together. Writing all my broken pieces together may look more like a stained glass window or mosaic though. Either way the end result is more beautiful and genuine than a blank page.

Kitsugi

Broken pieces

worn and tired

still beautiful

Take my broken life

mend it together

with gold

I’m so damaged and getting old

oh moon you are ageless

Even your fragment

lights up my darkness

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